Astoreth does Ferelden Part 10: Soldier's Peak
by Natmonkey
Summary: Follow Astoreth as she traipses through Ferelden and shares her thoughts and wonders. In this instalment: our Wardens meet a merchant who asks them for a favour.
1. Rumour Has It

_Welcome to part ten! As you will see here, I am Bioware's little bitch. All those who wished for Jowan to stick around a little longer: your wish has been granted. Just a coincidence though, this was done months before I put it up here._

* * *

"Hey, have you heard the news?" The haggard man speaks in hushed tones, to another who looks just as crappy as he does. The two are idly standing near the gates to Orzammar.

The other grins, eyes sparkling. "Do tell." Heh. And they say we women are gossips.

"Word is," the first looks around suspiciously before continuing, "that someone survived that battle at Ostagar." Interesting. I sidle up a little closer to the two, whistling innocently. Nothing to see here, just a mage who's not eavesdropping on you. Honest.

"No!" the other gasps. "Tell me more!" Yes, tell us more.

I pretend to be engrossed in perusing a merchant's wares when the man with the juicy gossip looks around again. Oh wow, this sword is ginormous. I'm going to buy it for Sten; he needs a new one anyway. One sovereign, seventy-two silvers and eighty bits. I hand the merchant two sovereigns. "Keep the change."

In low whispers, the gossip goes on: "They say Bann Loren has captured this fellow and is torturing him! Pulling out his teeth and..." The rest is of no interest to me, so I rush to the others.

"Alistair, Alistair!"

He curiously looks up from his cheese sandwich. It's actually a thick slice of cheese sandwiched between two thinner slices. "Hm? What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"Thinking about my knickers, are you?" His instantly lobster red face makes me giggle. "Anyway, I heard there might be someone who survived Ostagar. Do you know where bann Loren lives?" Again ye olde mappe is brought out. It's a miracle we manage to make out places with all the red markings on it.

Alistair laughs. "Where did you hear this? It could be a waste of time, but his domain is on the way to the tower, so I guess we could go check it out." Another smear of red ink goes on the map.

Ah, yes. Kinloch Hold, where Jowan will receive his punishment. Poor thing. Poor me. He seems ready enough to face whatever the Circle and the templars have in store for him, but I don't really want to part from my oldest friend. Not yet. Not ever, really. I sit myself next to him and link my arm with his. "So how are you feeling?" Me, not so hot. I'm not so eager to let him go.

"Oh, I'm great!" he says enthusiastically, shutting the book he was reading with a quick snap. Nugget, who is sitting on his lap, twitches nervously. "That was quite the adventure. Golems, criminals, giant spiders, darkspawn! Even an epic battle between dwarven nobles. Although I could've done without that broodmother." His nose wrinkles in disgust.

Alistair promptly drops his sandwich. "Ugh, did you have to remind me? There goes my appetite." But then he picks the cheese up from the ground, dusts it off and continues eating anyway. Yuck.

"Yes, obviously." Jowan rolls his eyes. "Really, do you need all that food? It's a good thing you get so much exercise."

I get up. Apparently Alistair has found someone else to bicker with. This is better than the hateful wordplay with Morrigan, though. Two youngsters poking fun at each other. How sweet.

The Warden grins, charming bits of cheese stuck between his teeth. "What can I say? I'm a growing boy, you know." Okay, I've seen enough. I better give Sten this sword.

Behind me I hear my friend laughing. "I'll say!" His laughter turns into feigned frightful pleads about not hitting him because he's so delicate and has a nug to care for. Mmm, I hope they'll kiss and make up later. I'm so terrible.

I find Sten sitting before his tent, busily honing his blade with a worn whetstone. The sword has seen so much use that its cutting edge is chipped. Stubbs has taken a shine to the giant, peacefully sleeping at his feet. I think my mabari is the only one of us the man actually _likes_. And Shale maybe; those two both hold the belief that we humans are useless pests. If they weren't so useful, I'm not sure if I would put up with them. "Hello, Sten."

"Warden." He doesn't even look in my direction, just keeps on polishing his weapon.

"You can stop doing that. Here, look." I present him the enormous sword I just bought, balancing the thing atop my palms.

In a rather uncharacteristic fashion the qunari's eyes grow wide as he snatches it from my hands. The sharp edge leaves a nasty cut. "This sword, where did you get it?" he asks urgently.

"Bought it from a merchant," I mumble, sucking on my hand. "Why? You're behaving quite strangely."

"Bring me to this merchant!" he demands, abruptly rising to his feet. As I guide him there, Sten explains how he and a few of his fellow qunari were sent to Ferelden at the behest of their leader. They were to see if there was truly a Blight, but were overcome by darkspawn. Sten was the only one to survive, discovered by a family of farmers who took him in and nursed him back to health. They got small thanks for their pains, however, seeing how he murdered them upon waking up without his sword. Turns out the particular sword I bought belonged to one of his mates. What a coincidence.

The giant marches up to the unfortunate merchant in question, effortlessly picks him up and begins shaking him to within an inch of his life. Bombarded with questions and vehement shaking, the man eventually breaks down and spills the beans. He did find a similar sword, yes, but a dwarf bought it from him. A dwarf by the name of Dwyn that was going to Redcliffe. I know that guy! Satisfied with the information, Sten puts the man down and walks toward me. "I would appreciate it if we could retrieve my sword in Redcliffe."

"We will go there after we've done the last treaty. Think you can manage until then?"

He nods wordlessly. And so ends the longest conversation I've ever had with the man.


	2. New Toys

"Hey, Zev." I beckon the assassin to come closer. "Do you have a minute?"

He casually saunters up to me. "For you always, Warden." Again with the purring and the sexy smiles. I'm not giving in.

"I was wondering if you'd do something for me." Cue the propositions and innuendo.

The honey-coloured eyes light up. "Your mage not up to your standards anymore?" He wraps an arm around my waist to draw me closer to him. For the umpteenth time.

"For fuck's sake, Zevran, enough of this." I narrow my eyes, but don't push him away. "It's not about warming my bed, or doing things with your tongue that would blow my mind. Okay?"

And here's the pouting. "What is it you wish of me then?"

"Be a dear and pick something up for me in Redcliffe. Take with you whomever you want." I give that a quick thought. "Except for Wynne."

"Your wish is my command, dear Warden," he coos. His face is so close to mine that his lips brush my cheek. "What am I to pick up?"

I show him a nice smile. "It's a qunari sword. Sten's sword, in fact. It's in the possession of a dwarf named Dwyn. I don't care if you have to threaten him or buy the thing from him, please just make sure you get it."

"Very well. May I take Oghren and Morrigan with me?" He hums thoughtfully. "And your dog perhaps too?"

"That's excellent thinking, Zev. A nicely balanced group. By all means take them; if they want to go, that is."

The elf smiles hopefully. "Perhaps you would reward me with a kiss, hmm?"

"Why, certainly, my friend!" I cup his face in my hands to plant a loud, wet smooch in the middle of his forehead.

Laughing heartily he wipes off the residue of my affection. "Not quite what I had in mind, but thank you nonetheless."

"No, thank _you_." I give him a quick hug. "I appreciate it." But of course I can't expect our adventurers to pay for this expedition out of their own pocket, so I give him a load of cash and a good supply of health poultices. We decide to meet up at the inn by the docks of Lake Calenhad.

Arms filled with jars of healing goodness, Zevran heads for Oghren's tent. "My stocky friend!"

"Whaddya want, you knife-eared pipe-cleaner?" the perpetually drunken dwarf yells gruffly. Sometimes I wonder whether taking him with us was such a good idea. Well, apparently he's not welcome in Orzammar anyway, and we welcome practically any Tom, Dick and Harriet. Ah, I think Morrigan will react much the same as the red-haired horror. Surely for me they will go on this quest, no? How much trouble would it be for one assassin, one warrior, one witch and one warhound to retrieve one sword? Anyway, I have stuff to do.

* * *

Finally I get to try out the Paragon's invention. It has a nice size; not too small, not too large. The metal is smooth and cool to the touch, but merely holding it is enough to warm it. I'm not quite sure what to call it. _Vibrating rod of immense pleasure_ is such a mouthful. A thing that vibrates... Vibrator? That could work. But enough thinking, let's get to the action!

I've already turned the crank many times; pushing the button causes it to buzz quite loudly, the vibrations running all the way up my arm. The sound is so much like angry bees, someone will no doubt come calling if they happen to hear. Luckily most are asleep. Only Alistair and Jowan are up, guarding the camp. I do wonder what those boys are doing together.

Slowly, slowly I guide the surrogate penis into me while I conjure images of the big, strong warrior taking the fragile mage into his arms and kissing him fiercely, tangling his fingers into that dark hair. Oh yes, the vibrating feels most delicious. I lick the fingers of my free hand to begin circling my button. Mmm, and what if those two were to release each other and focus on me, lavishing me with kisses and caresses? Kissing each other from time to time. Capturing me between their warm bodies.

I hear a low "Hey, what's that noise?" followed by a gasp and "Maker!" just before my entire body begins shaking. I manage to thrust the vibrator into me a little harder while my orgasm ravages my senses. When I open my eyes, I can make out my tent mate in the faint light that seeps in through a small gap in the canvas.

Jowan is on me in an instant, plunging his tongue onto my mouth, his hands busily plucking at his robes to get them off. I knew he would like catching me naked and playing with myself. Soon his lips are on my cheek, on my neck, whispering words of appreciation between kisses. Lower and lower he goes, and still I'm thrusting the metal cock into me. It's very nice, but it can't compare to having a man in you, on top of you. Or underneath you.

A low whimper escapes my throat when his tongue lightly flicks against my pulsating bump. So good. His hand takes over from mine, intensifying the thrusts. Slow, but hard and deep. He knows exactly how I like it. His lips close around my clit, and for the very first time he actually sucks on it. The feeling is new; rather than being focused on the tip, pressure is applied to the outer edges. But I like it, and so I weave my fingers through my lover's silky hair as I often do, pushing his face deeper into my lap. Before long I achieve my second climax. Insane waves of pleasure ripple through me, amplified by the now very warm rod pumping in and out. It's so difficult not to scream and wake up the entire camp.

Before I've fully come to my senses, the metal cock is pulled from me and replaced with something infinitely better. Jowan's rock-hard erection, bigger than it's ever been. Yes, _this_ is the stuff. He hovers over me, licking my juices from the rather lifelike representation of a penis, enraptured. I bite my lip and imagine that's Alistair he's licking with such delight. My muscles clench around him of their own accord, making him gasp. Eventually he lays the tool to the side to settle himself on top of me, his thrusts gentle.

I wrap my arms around his neck to bring him closer for a kiss, tasting myself on his lips. His body feels so warm, soft and familiar. As if it was always meant to be like this. I wrap my legs around his waist, which he takes as his cue to start going quicker and harder. Every thrust sends an intense sensation of pleasure into my belly, and from there through my entire body. It seems like an eternity before my lover tenses and spends himself in me with a low groan. Another exquisite round of lovemaking that's left the both of us breathless.

After another sweet kiss he lies next to me and pulls me close. "I thought my brain was going to explode when I saw you like that. Where did you get that thing?"

"Branka's last invention." I press the button again to stop the infernal buzzing. "Amazing, isn't it?"

"You are what's amazing here, milady." The affectionate whisper sends a chill down my spine. "I'm glad you wanted to take me along." He smiles down on me, eyes gleaming in the faint light.

The corners of my mouth curl up to return that smile. "Well, of course. If you wanted, I could also _not_ deliver you to the Circle."

"You could." Jowan softly strokes my cheek. "But you shouldn't. It would come back to haunt you eventually, and I don't want that."

I sigh and rest my head on his chest. "As you wish. Then I suppose we will have to part soon."

"Afraid so. There... there is something I need to tell you."

Something in the tone of his voice causes me to snap to. "What's that?"

"I..." He shakes his head and begins groping around for his robes. "Shall we go out for a walk?"

We dress in silence. I wonder what this is about. It sounds urgent. Important. Maybe he knows of buried treasure somewhere and wants me to have it. But I doubt that. Once outside the tent I'm glad to see that Morrigan and Leliana have guard duty now. That means we don't have to sneak out. Shale never sleeps, but I don't really trust her not to let us get murdered in our sleep, should someone try to. She would no doubt find that an immensely funny notion, so I'm not going to leave her alone to guard the camp. No ser.

"Ladies." I run up to them while my friend stays behind with our lantern. "Jowan and I we will be going into the woods for a little walk."

Morrigan bares her pearly whites in a suggestive smile. "Is that what 'tis called these days?"

"Indeed." Leliana giggles girlishly. "You two need a change of scenery, no? Always that same old tent must be getting boring."

I could take the bait, but I'm not going to. "We won't be long."

"Stay safe," the bard says. "And don't stray too far."

"No mother, we won't." I poke her in the ribs. "And we're not completely defenceless either. See you later."


	3. Moonless Night

My best friend and I walk off into the woods together, halt in an area that is well-sheltered by trees. I hang the lantern on a low branch so we can at least see what we're saying on this moonless night. "Now, what did you want to tell me?"

"How do I say this?" he mutters uncomfortably. He sighs and grasps my hands. "Look, I know it's selfish and stupid of me, but I can't hold it in any longer. I have to tell you how I feel."

My heart rate increases by tenfold; my mouth feels dry. This isn't what I think it is, is it? It probably is. Momentarily all I can do is stare in shock. "So, ho-how do you feel?" I manage to ask eventually.

Jowan locks eyes with me, an unreadable expression on his face. "You don't even have to say anything if you don't want to. It's just..." The tension is thick when he swallows and deeply inhales, then exhales. "Astoreth. I love you."

The news, though not unexpected, is like a mallet to the chest. My knees feel weak as I look into his eyes and recognize what was there all along. What I've felt for quite a while too now. Unable to find the right words to say, I capture his lips in a long kiss. Warm and gentle. Loving. Maker help me. "I love you too, " I whisper when we let go. It's a recipe for disaster, but I don't care.

"You make me so happy, my love." He cradles me against his chest. "I've wanted to call you that for a while now." His voice is relieved, full of joy.

It's not that I'm not happy myself, but... Ah. Let's just cross that bridge when we get to it. I feel a little... dazed. This is a bit strange. Still, I've known this guy most of my life, so I suppose it's familiar in a way. "Oh? And what should I be calling you then?" I snicker. "How about... honey pie?"

"No!" He laughs. "That's too girly, even for me. So, shall we get back to camp?"

"Well, we _could_ do that, sure." I give him my most seductive smile. "Or we could go for a quickie here in the woods." I guide his hand between my legs to let him know that I've not made the effort to put my panties back on. His eyes grow wide in surprise, but his fingers find the right places to touch almost reflexively.

With a low chuckle my brand new beloved pins me against a nearby tree. His fingers never stop sliding in and out of me, his thumb still gently rubbing my button. I close my eyes and press my back against the rough bark. All feeling numbs, except in the parts being pleasured, gusts of hot breath sometimes hitting my face. For the third time tonight I feel as if I'm exploding into a mass of red-hot ecstasy.

"Can't get enough of that." Jowan grins at me and licks his wet fingers. I can see how he's pitched himself quite the tent in those robes. Mmm. Now it's my turn to pin him against the tree.

I get on my knees to hike his robes up; I nearly get slapped in the face when I release his erection from its cloth confines. Such enthusiasm. I immediately suck him all the way into my mouth, earning me a long-drawn moan. My tongue caresses along his length, my hand carefully massages his balls. He really seems to like this. So much in fact, that he pulls me to my feet, turns my face toward the tree and simply enters me in one smooth thrust. Good thinking; my belly might get in the way otherwise. I plant both hands on the trunk to brace myself.

My lover pounds into me, hard, fast and without mercy. As it so happens, that is exactly the way I like it. I cry out with every thrust, pressing my nails into the bark. Jowan growls deep in his throat while he fucks me, digs his fingers deep into the flesh of my hips. When he buries himself into me for the last time, I scream his name. He throbs and twitches, leaning heavily against me, nuzzling my neck. "I love you so much," he pants. This declaration of affection rather clashes with our animalistic coupling, but okay. I'm not complaining.

"I love you too, Jowse." I neatly tidy my robes when he pulls out of me. "Now we can return."

"Tell me something," he says as we make our way back to camp. His hand folds around mine. It's like old times; except now we're more than friends. "Do you still miss Cullen?"

"Cullen?" I hadn't given it that much thought. But that in itself is already an indication. "Not really. I still think of him often, but I'm worried for him. I hope he'll recover from whatever he went through in the tower. Why do you ask?"

He sighs, a mixture of sadness and contentment. "I don't miss Lily anymore. She hardly ever even crosses my mind lately. All I can think of is you."

"That's not very surprising; we spend so much time together, after all. But, does this even change anything? Will you stay with me?" I send him a pleading look, but his expression betrays his answer.

"I would love to stay with you, really." He gives my hand a brief squeeze. "But I still need to be punished for my crimes."

"Couldn't a really good spanking just suffice?" A feeble attempt, I know. Don't blame me for trying.

Jowan laughs at my joke. "You can spank me as much as you like, love. But I don't think it will make up for me poisoning Arl Eamon and indirectly causing an undead infestation." He sighs and grips my shoulders to have me stop walking. "This is why I said it was stupid and selfish. We can only be together for so long."

I let out an exasperated puff of air. "I have such terrible taste in men. A traumatized templar, a Chantry initiate seducing blood mage who is a glutton for punishment..." A dead thief. Daveth. Damn, but he was hot. "In any case, we should just enjoy this while we can."

"You're right." He smiles and wraps me into a warm hug. I love him. A lot. And he is mine until I hand him to the Circle. There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep your beloved with you a bit longer, is there? Of course there isn't.

* * *

Yet another helping of spectacular sex later I'm safely nestled in my love's arms. Jowan is sleeping peacefully, his breathing deep and regular. No snoring at all; the perfect person to share a bed with. Why in the Maker's name does he not want me to save him? I could force him to stay with me, rub Greagoir's face in the Right of Conscription. The man would probably go very red and start foaming at the mouth. Maybe even throw a few choice expletives at me. First I get away from my punishment and now Jowan? Ha, I'd really like to see that. Glorious.

But I shouldn't. Don't they say that if you love someone, you should let them go, or something along those lines? I tend to think that they, whoever the people who come up with these cheesy proverbs are, are utter fools. In this case though, they're right. My best friend, my beloved, wishes to be punished for his crimes. Crazy masochist. I gladly evaded _my_ punishment. At great cost, but still.

The single ring that adorns my finger comes to my mind's eye. A golden band with a sky blue gemstone. It's become such an inherent part of me, I hardly even notice its presence anymore. Much like when I was still wearing the ring Cullen gave me. How would he be faring? All right I hope. That poor man. It's not my business anymore, though; I suppose I've truly moved on now. And when Jowan is gone? Well. We shall see.


	4. Unfortunate

_It's been a long wait, but here's another chapter. Happy holidays, all. If you'd like to see a Christmas pin-up, do check out my dA page (via profile)._

* * *

Here we are, bann Loren's lands. That's a lot of land. Were it mine, I'd probably want to rut under every tree. And there are _a lot_ of trees here. Before we set off, Zevran, Oghren, Morrigan and Stubbs bid us farewell. As per my instructions they made up some excuse; the return of his sword is supposed to be a surprise for Sten. It was clear that the dwarf and the witch weren't too eager to go, but the promise of more booze for Oghren and jewellery for Morrigan pushed them over the brink. My sweet doggie seemed happy enough to go on an adventure of his own. That's my boy.

"What do you know of this Loren character?" I ask Alistair.

He scratches his head. "Well, I hear he's not the nicest of people. There will be trouble if we get caught poking around on his property."

"So we should be all sneaky-like." I look around. "If only four of us go, we will be quieter and move quicker. Alistair, Leliana, Wynne; let's go."

"Can't I go too?" Jowan frantically grabs my hand. "I'd like to be there, to make sure you're safe."

My fellow Warden folds his arms before his chest. "What am I, chopped liver?" he grumbles.

"No, you stay here with the others." I give the mage's hand a little squeeze. "And that's final."

"As you wish, then." He sighs. "Be careful, my love." And before I know it, his lips are on mine, arms tightly wrapped around me. In front of everyone. Who didn't know we had begun an affair. Alistair groans loudly. He just lost a bet, but luckily for him those coins aren't going anywhere until Zev returns.

I clear my throat and will my blushing to go away. No luck. "Don't be so dramatic, _honey pie_. We'll be back before you know it."

Leliana hooks her arms through mine as we walk away to find this possible survivor. "So, I take it we will not be bringing him to the Circle?" she asks curiously.

I shake my head. "Sadly, we will. I can't persuade him to stay."

"Oh." The bard's voice sounds a bit disappointed.

Wynne gives me a worried look. "Are you sure this is such a good idea then? You will get hurt."

"True." I flash the woman a confident smile. "But it's not about me. It's about him. I want to make him as happy as he can be. He doesn't have that much time left."

"That... is most selfless of you," Wynne says hesitantly. She probably thinks I'm out of my mind.

I shrug. "It's not like I'm not getting anything out of this." Oh my. I better not dwell on this too much. Simply thinking of my lover on top of me, inside of me, makes it a bit difficult to walk properly.

"How romantic!" Leliana sighs. "Perfect for a ballad."

"Yeah... Of two mages who fall in love after a long friendship and find comfort in each other, knowing that one of them is doomed! Sounds like a grand tale indeed." I can't keep the sarcasm out of my voice. It's not romantic; it borders on stupid. But I don't care, because he is worth it. And Maker knows I need all the love I can get.

Just as the redhead opens her mouth to protest, Alistair holds up his hand. "Shush. I hear something." A fair distance away from us, a group of men are standing near a bridge. Ever so silently we sneak up to them. Right on time, it seems.

One of the men is dressed in tattered clothing, the four others in similar leathers. The odd man out slowly backs away, threatened at dagger point. I can already see where this is going. Time to stop it.

"Hey you!" I yell. The four turn simultaneously. "Yes, you! Your mothers are dirt-wallowing ogre lovers!"

The men draw their weapons and come running to receive the beating we have in store for them, but not before stabbing their poor prisoner in the gut. Great. That's exactly what I didn't want to happen.

Four dead henchmen, a barely audible conversation and feeble death gurgle from the man we were trying to save later, I'm the proud owner of a shakily drawn map. Alistair recognized the prisoner as Elric Maraigne (I had no idea who the man was), one of Cailan's honour guard.

The king gave the man a key to the royal arms chest, in which are some valuable documents and King Maric's sword. Apparently Elric fled the battle and got captured by bann Loren. The map he drew me with his last strength yields the place where he hid the key. I think that after we've visited the elves, we'll be returning to Ostagar. Those documents can wait; nobody's going to steal them with the darkspawn running the place. I have to admit I rather like being a party of only four. It's so much easier so oversee.

Oh dear. We're not exactly in mint condition anymore. One of my sleeves is almost torn off and there are several arrows sticking out of me. Jowan is so going to have a fit when he sees me like this.

* * *

As we return to the others, Jowan turns toward me, smiling happily. "Oh, Tori, you're ba..." His cheerful expression turns sour as soon as he takes a good look at me. "You're hurt!" He immediately begins prodding me to check the extent of my injuries. "Maker's breath, you look like a pin cushion!" he exclaims upon noticing the three arrows sticking out of me. Archers really seem to like me. I'm lucky they've never managed to hit a vital organ.

"Oh, we're fine. Thanks for asking," Alistair says dryly.

"Perhaps I could provide it some assistance?" Shale offers. "If I squish its tiny head, it will never feel any pain again." She pounds her massive fists against each other.

Alistair raises an eyebrow and hides behind me, using me as a rather pathetic shield. "I'm going to have to say no to that, but thanks for the offer."

"Ah." The golem sighs despondently. "That is so unfortunate."


	5. Levi of the Coins

_Happy New Year, my darlings! May 2011 bring us all happiness, joy and whatever else we might want. Cheers.  
_

* * *

The first shift is for us Wardens. Guarding the camp. Sometimes I wonder why we even bother; nothing ever happens. I pet Nugget's suede-like skin while he sits next to me, eating some of tonight's dinner from a bowl. Alistair made that stuff; I'm glad the nug isn't very picky about what he eats. Suddenly I feel the Warden's hand on my shoulder.

"About you and Jowan..." He shoots me an incredulous look. "Why?"

I shrug. "He said he loved me, I told him I felt the same, we took it from there. Why not?"

"I know you're best friends, and you've known him all your life, but I still don't understand." My colleague sighs. "You will just end up getting your heart broken again, just like with Collin."

"_Cullen_, dear. His name is Cullen. At any rate..." I sigh too. Now how do I explain this? "Jowan was there to pick up the pieces Cullen had left me in. And now I'm here for him, to care for him and stand by his side until he is no more. I think that what he and I have is worth the pain it may cause me eventually. Can you understand that?"

Alistair nods slowly. "Yes, I think so." For a while he's silent, poking into the fire.

"I'm sorry. You're my friend, and I should've told you about Jowan and myself."

"Oh." He scratches his head, a pensive look on his face. "It's fine. When did that all start anyway?"

"The second time we were in Redcliffe, after we'd been to Kinloch Hold. He came into my room in the dead of night with a last request of sorts." Ah, good times.

The Warden raises an eyebrow. "I don't think I need to ask what kind of request that was. Damn, Zev was right all along." He shakes his head incredulously. "This blatant disregard for your own feelings is... touching, but what will you do when he's gone?"

"I try not to think about it. But no doubt I can count on you again, just like last time, no? Holding me so I can sleep and everything?" Somewhere deep down inside, I'm actually looking forward to spending a night in his arms again, shitty reason or no. "I know you tried your best to make me feel better, but apparently I require a different kind of comfort."

"Different?" He blushes and smiles shyly. "What exactly do you mean?" The redness in his face suggests he has at least an inkling of what I mean.

"Heh, surely you..." Suddenly I hear twigs snapping. Someone has just entered our camp. I take back what I said about standing guard serving no purpose.

"Waaaarden!" an unfamiliar voice calls. "Warden? Yoo-hoo?" A harmless-looking man, dressed in the typical clothing of a Fereldan commoner, steps into the light of the fireplace. He is smiling brightly.

Alistair rises to his feet, casually resting his hand on the pommel of his sword. "That's us. Can we help you?"

"Ah, so good to meet you!" The stranger grabs his hand and energetically pumps it up and down. "The name is Levi, Levi Dryden. Did Duncan ever mention me? Levi of the Coins? Levi the Trader?"

"I'm Alistair, and this is Astoreth," he introduces us. My hand gets firmly shaken too. "I've never heard of you, I'm afraid."

Levi looks disappointed. "Really? He never told you of old Levi? We've known each other for years! But I'll cut to the chase; wouldn't want to waste your time while there is a Blight and everything," he chuckles. "You see, Duncan promised that together we'd look into something important for the Wardens. And for me." The man sighs sadly. "But poor Duncan is... no more. And that's a tragedy, but I'm sure he would want his work carried on. His pledge fulfilled."

I feel a request coming up. "And what pledge might that be?" I ask.

"Well, my family's name is mud around the noble circles since Sophia Dryden, the last Warden-Commander of Ferelden, was connected with some rebellion and our land and titles taken by King Arland. She died at the old Grey Warden base, at Soldier's Peak, and we want evidence to clear her name. It won't get us back the land or titles, but it'll restore our honour," Levi explains.

"Soldier's Peak?" The name doesn't even ring a bell. "Where is that?"

The merchant chuckles. "Nobody's been there since Arland's days. I spent years mapping the tunnels to the peak. And I found the way a few years back. So I went to Duncan, I did, and I said he could reclaim the base and my family could have its honour."

"How will reclaiming it help the Wardens?" Alistair asks curiously. It's good to see he is confident enough to mingle into conversations now; he's becoming a big boy! Makes me proud.

"Soldier's Peak has strategic and symbolic importance," our visitor says sagely. "Duncan said that would be worth it right there. He also hoped to recover lost Warden history and perhaps a few old relics. No one knows what's up there now."

My fellow Warden utters a sad sigh. "Duncan probably died before he got the chance to help you, huh?"

Levi nods, equally gloomy. "Said he would help after the battle at Ostagar. There might be useful things at the Peak, you know."

"We will help you," Alistair states, looking decidedly resolute. My, my, that sounded rather confident.

I grab a hold of his arm. "Did mine ears deceive me, Alistair? Did you just make a decision all on your own?"

"Oh, put a sock in it, you." He laughs and playfully tweaks my nose.

The merchant claps his hands together. "A thousand blessings upon you, Wardens!" he gushes. "That'll be 560 points."

"I beg your pardon?" What is this man saying? "What points?"

"Why, points to buy my map with of course!" Levi exclaims. "I even sell them; as a special price, I will charge you a mere forty sovereigns for 800 points."

I don't completely understand what this man is saying, but I do get this: "You're asking us for help, and now you expect us to pay you? And if I were to consider paying you, which I'm not really, couldn't I just buy those 560 points from you?"

Levi shrugs. "Making this map wasn't cheap. And no, sorry, I sell in bulk. But you can spend the remainder of your points on other things!"

What nonsense is this? I don't even know what these points _are_! This moron makes my middle fingers awfully twitchy. "Right. How about you go and fu..."

"Astoreth!" Alistair brusquely cuts me off. "This could be very important. Let me do this." Contrary to his usual behaviour, all I see is determination. No puppy eyes here. Not even confusion as to that whole points business.

"Fine..." After all, who am I to mess with this new-found confidence of his? I count out forty pieces of gold and hand them to Levi.

The merchant gives the coins in his hands a satisfied look. "I'll mark down the location on your map. You now have 240 points left."

I hold out a hand. "So? Fork them over." What would these points look like, I wonder.

"No, see, these points are virtual," the merchant says cryptically. "But don't worry, we can see how many you have."

I shake my head. "You know what, I give up. My mind is blown."

Apparently this bizarreness doesn't faze Alistair at all. "I'll make it up to you," he promises before fetching the map for our guest to mark Soldier's Peak. It's to the north, quite far too. "Can we go as soon as possible?" my colleague asks rather unexpectedly.

"We could, tomorrow. But what about...?" Be still my beating heart. Perhaps this is another chance for me to keep my love here a little longer.

"It's too bad for him, but Jowan is just going to have to wait for his sentence." He grins and winks.

I can't help but squeal like a little girl. "Have I already mentioned that you are totally awesome?" I throw my arms around him and grin into his chest. Make it up to me, will he? Oh, I can think of a few ways.

"Yes, but I can't get enough of hearing it." Alistair's laughter rumbles against my ear. "Do go on."

I open my mouth to shower the boy with compliments, but then I hear an amused chuckle. Levi is watching us with unveiled glee. The compliments will have to wait until later. "So Levi, why don't you go get your stuff and set up with us, so we can all depart together tomorrow?"

He perks up. "Oh yes, good idea Warden!" And so he trots away. This better be worth all that cash.

"Where was I? Ah yes. You're totally awesome!" I yell. "Kind, considerate! Strong, handsome, a fine warrior! Er..." What else? "Cute! Built like a brick! Uhm..."

He bursts out laughing. "Okay, okay, I get it. You like me. Anyway, thanks for letting me do this for Duncan."

"I had nothing to do with it. The decision was yours, and I'm proud you made up your own mind." I ruffle his hair. "You've become a man, Alistair!" And will be even more so when I'm done with him. Heh. Not a good idea, since I'm spoken for. Temporarily. It's funny how Jowan doesn't seem very jealous of my lusting after Alistair. If I ever get the chance, you can count on it that I will bang him like a trashcan lid. Thoroughly wear him out.

His cheeks turn pink. "Well, I... Never mind. I'll just wake the others for their shift. Goodnight."

"What? Is there something you wanted to say?" What's with all the awkwardness lately? Maybe I'm not giving him enough attention. After all, most of my free time goes toward Jowan.

"No, nothing." Alistair smiles and bends down to kiss my cheek. "Goodnight, little Warden."

I give him another hug. "Sleep well, big Warden." Now to deliver the good news.

* * *

_I know you can buy the Bioware points in increments you need, but really, I'm just complaining about Microsoft Marketplace Points. How am I supposed to spend exactly that amount of points? **How**? Aaaargh. _


	6. Great News

Ah, the lantern's on, so Jowan is obviously not sleeping. I burst through the tent flap. "Jowse! I got some great ne... _Ooooooh_." Now I know why the lantern is on. It's so I can admire my lover in all his glory. All his _naked_ glory. Bathed in a warm orange glow that emphasizes the graceful beauty of his slender body, he is smiling at me enticingly, slowly stroking himself. How could I never have noticed before how absolutely gorgeous my beloved friend is?

"Hi, princess." His voice is low and throaty, sending a pleasant chill down my spine. "I was a little lonely, so I got started without you."

Goodness, I just can't keep my eyes off him. My hands automatically begin unbuttoning my robes. "Good on you, darling." My own voice is nothing but a hoarse whisper. Soon my clothes are off and my undergarments follow suit. "I have some news for you." I slowly crawl over my beloved's body, feeling much like a feral cat. Ready to pounce.

"I'm listening." His breath hitches in his throat when my lips make contact with his neck. I can feel his pulse under my touch; the touch of my lips, of my tongue. His skin is soft and smooth and warm against my fingers.

"We got a request to clear some fellow's name, you see." A row of kisses down his throat, alternated with the occasional lick. "Tomorrow we'll be going to Soldier's Peak." Further I descend, kissing and caressing his chest.

He moans softly when the tip of my tongue touches his nipple. "So-Soldier's Peak? Where's that?"

"It's up north." My fingers trace the lines of his ribs, my lips follow close behind. "About a week's travel." I run my tongue along the outline of his lightly defined abdominal muscles, pressing soft kisses all over his stomach.

"But the to-tower is..." Again my lover moans. "South."

I grind out a low chuckle. "Don't you worry, my sweet. That's where I'm headed right now." My tongue runs along the tip of him. Sweet. Salty. Jowan gasps upon feeling the wetness of my tongue curl around the end of his cock. For all the moisture in my mouth, my throat feels awfully dry. But I'm sure I will get my drink soon enough.

The hand he had previously wrapped around the base of his erection leaves to disappear into my hair, pulling my bun loose and spilling pins all over the place. My sight is obscured by dark strands falling around my face, but I don't need to see for what I'm about to do. Slowly I move my mouth lower down his rod, taking it in inch by inch. It's a marvel every time, the velvety soft feel of the skin here. My right hand lightly cups his testicles for that extra bit of stimulation, the left travels his body as it pleases. Up his arm, across his chest, down his stomach, along his thigh.

My efforts are well-received: hoarse moans, a breathless gasping of my name from time to time. It's so nice to know that your endeavours are appreciated. Moments later the typical throbbing begins and I am rewarded with a fierce, sexy groan and an astounding amount of almost sweet liquid to moisten my parched throat. Astounding, because we pretty much do it several times a day. And he's not even gone limp yet. Let's take advantage of that, shall we?

While his body is still shuddering with his release, I straddle his hips and lower myself over his still hard cock. A content sigh swiftly turns into a surprised moan. His eyes fly open, and what I see there kind of surprises me. Normally those eyes are a very pale blue, the colour of a frozen lake, but now they are dark. Almost like the night sky. For the first time I realize I've never properly looked into his eyes during our activities. Not that it matters all that much; the vehement twitching deep inside me, fingers digging into my flesh remind me I have better things to do.

I rock my hips back and forth, pushing him in a little deeper. We moan in almost perfect unison. My riding motions are slow; going up until he's almost out of me, then down again until this marvellous organ is buried in me all the way. Jowan seems to be unable to do much more than moan and enjoy himself. I adore watching him when he's like this, seeing his features contort with lust and pleasure. The knowledge that it is I who delights him so fills me with pride. Pride and pleasure, because having him in me is probably the best feeling I've ever had.

A faint pulsating announces my lover's impending climax, so I pick up the pace. Faster and faster I grind myself against him; it's obvious from his expression that it takes the poor thing all his strength not to cry out. Softly whimpering my name he spends himself in me for the second time tonight.

I settle myself next to him while he pants like an exhausted hound and take him in my arms. In turn he snuggles up to me, moulding his form to mine, resting his head on my breasts. "I love you, Jowan."

"And I love you, princess," he whispers breathlessly. His lips softly press a kiss above my heart. A pleasantly warm feeling builds up in my stomach. Ah. I'd almost forgotten what it feels like to be loved. Blindly I reach behind me to extinguish the light, wrapping the tent in darkness. Suddenly a hand tugs at the bandages around my arm. "Poor thing; you always get hurt," he says in a sad tone of voice.

"Shit happens. You know how it goes, the way we attract trouble." I've become so used to getting wounded by now; the pain is soon forgotten. And the scars? Why should I care? They add character, I think. Unmarred beauty isn't going to impress the archdemon. Although, if someone fights through an enormous horde and comes out without a scratch on them, I would be impressed. Alas! If only I had thought of it earlier! Woe is me! Just kidding; I still don't care.

"Would you like to learn blood magic?" my companion asks unexpectedly. "Might as well put that blood to good use."

I freeze. Blood magic? And offered so casually too? "Why would I want to do that? Look at where it's got you."

My lover chuckles in amusement. "Yes, it's so _terrible_ spending quality time with the sweetest, prettiest girl in all of Ferelden." I feel blood rushing to my face. "No, in all of Thedas. Impending doom or no, I am a happy man." Even in the darkness his lips find mine with ease. "All thanks to you. In any case, the offer stands." With a content sigh he cuddles up to me, even closer than before. His hand idly rests on my belly. Hmm, the baby has been so calm lately. Very still, apart from the odd kick or movement. It's going to be such a well-behaved little thing.

But, blood magic. It's true though, I do get hurt a lot. Most every time. And to be perfectly honest, I'm rather curious to this mysterious power my friend wields. It looks rather impressive. And painful. I'm going to have to think about learning it myself. Apparently it uses life force the same way it does mana. It would keep me away from those lyrium potions. Although I imagine draining myself of all blood isn't exactly good for the baby either. If Cullen knew I was considering this, he'd lop my head clean off. Good thing he's not here. "Jowse, are you asleep?"

"I was almost. Something wrong?" he groans sleepily.

My mind is made up. "I'd rather not learn any blood magic, sorry." I want to learn how to heal, like Wynne does. She's really, really good at it. My one healing spell only manages to close wounds. Broken bones stay quite broken.

I can feel him shrugging. "That's fine, sweetie. I just thought it might be useful. Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams, my love."


	7. Soldier's Peak

We've been on the road for a while now. I thought getting to Soldier's Peak would take a week, but it's only been three days. With the way Levi's going, however, it will take two weeks to get to the Warden base. Found the way, my ass. We got lost countless times in this maze of icy mining tunnels and now we're forced to spend the night in this cold. Oh happy day. Normally we'd start a fire, but that wouldn't be a very good idea in these tunnels I fear. Not enough ventilation.

As usual, Sten and Shale are unaffected by this temperature. Qunari are ridiculously sturdy creatures. All our bedrolls are close together to share the heat, and Leliana is sharing hers with Wynne. It rather reminds me of that night in the Wilds, closely nestled up to Daveth. Had I known Cullen and I would be no more, I would've been on that sexy thief like a kitten on milk. But imagine Wynne and Leliana getting it on. I would find that both hot and unnerving (what with the senior enchantress being an old woman and everything). Don't judge me; woman-on-woman love is intensely fascinating.

For some unknown reason, Alistair isn't bothered by this cold either. How does he do it? Wish I had an internal stove like that. This extra layer of fat on my bones is doing me a fat lot of good. Heh, being sandwiched between him and my lover would _certainly_ warm me up very well. Oh yes.

"Brrr, it's r-really fucking co-cold," Jowan swears, his voice really close to my ear.

I turn to face him. "So cold you're using language not meant for a gentleman such as yourself."

"F-f..." The poor boy's teeth are chattering fiercely. "F-fuck, fu-fuckity, fuck fuck fuck!" he manages to utter. "B-besides, I l-learned it from you!"

"You have a long way to go before you're a foul-mouthed sailor like me, sweetie." I trace his lips with my finger and notice they look rather off. "Oh no, you're turning blue. Come here." I rub his back with vigour to try and warm him. "A little better?"

Instead of giving me a spoken answer, he firmly presses his lips to mine, slides his tongue into my mouth. "S-so," he finally says, eyes misted over. "Want to do it?"

"Sure." Everyone looks to be asleep anyway. I yelp when an ice-cold hand touches my leg. "_Gah, your hands are freezing_!"

"Sorry." My lover grins apologetically. "Could you h-help me a little? This c-c-cold isn't doing me any good either." Ooh, he's tiny. This is a case of emergency! I begin casting Fire Ball, but immediately cut it off. The side-effect of this is that my hands are now toasty warm. When I touch his little wormy like that, he utters a content sigh and quickly grows. Magic makes life just a little better.

Fumbling like horny teenagers, we manage to make love quietly and without moving about too much. When we're finished, his body feels comfortably warm, as does mine. I nestle up to his chest with a feeling of great contentment. Sleeping will be much easier like this.

* * *

"And... here we are," Levi says in a satisfied voice. "Soldier's Peak. I told you the map would get us through the tunnels."

"You sure did." I look up at the impressive stone fortress. "Too bad you got us lost anyway."

The merchant frowns. "We weren't lost; it's just that the map got soggy." The frown turns into a scowl. "Bah, we're here." I can almost hear him think: 'So stop your complaining, woman.' And he's right. It's time to get down to business.

"Alistair? How many should we take?"

The Warden thoughtfully rubs his chin. "We could all go. Safety in numbers, right?"

"That's true. But I think it would be easier if we were only a small group. Five, tops." The unpleasant encounter with Loren's men really got me thinking. "Maybe just four. Why don't you choose who comes this time?"

He sighs. "Why ask me if you're not even going to listen? Fine." His eyes inspect the people all around us. "Wynne, Leliana, and..." Scratching his head, he makes his thinking noise. "And why don't you come along too, Jowan, so you don't have to start a dramatic scene like last time."

"Woo!" the mage yells, pumping his fist in the air. "I'm in!" He promptly throws his arms around me for a hug. A protesting squeak sounds from between us. "Oh, sorry Nugget." The nug has taken up residence in his robes. Jowan is lucky it's a small specimen; Schmooples is way too large to carry around like this. Ah, to live pressed up against my beloved for a large part of the day. Great fun.

"What are you so bloody happy about?" I glare at him. "If you get killed, I will never speak with you again. Ever."

He sticks out his tongue. "At least I will have some peace and quiet." A worried look appears on his face. "What am I supposed to do with Nugget? I can't take him with me."

"I will watch your pet," Sten offers unexpectedly.

"Er, all right. P-please make sure Shale doesn't squish him," Jowan says timidly.

Sten harrumphs. "You need not fear me, blood mage."

"Indeed," Leliana chimes in happily. "He is a big softie!" She smiles at the shocked silence. "I saw you playing with that kitten," the bard sings. "Come Schmooples, it's safe to stay with the big softie."

"You think you know someone," Shale comments dryly. Sten only grumbles; I could swear he was blushing, if that slight tinge of pink is any indication. The duo stay behind, two nugs cradled in the giant's massive arms. Who would've thought the silent, stoic warrior had such a gentle side to him?

* * *

The five of us and Levi continue on our path and end up in a massive courtyard. A strange sight greets us: the ethereal forms of soldiers are busily running about.

"Fall back, fall back already!" some guy yells. His diction marks him as some kind of nobleman.

Another answers: "Taking the Peak will not be easy, milord."

They go on to argue about how they will starve the Wardens and then swoop in to kill them. Sneaky. I have to say I actually approve of such a tactic. It takes lots of patience, but little work.

"What was that?" Levi wonders when the strange vision is over. "I'm not mad, am I? You saw it too?" He gives me a worried look.

"Well." I touch my fingers to his forehead. "I'm afraid so; you're mad, bonkers, off your head." His shocked expression is priceless. "Just pulling your leg. No, I saw it too." Murmurs from the others indicate it's no different for them.

"How is that possible?" the merchant breathes. "This place is truly haunted."

I shrug. "The Veil is probably thin here." Levi gives me a confused look. "The Veil? The thing that separates us from the Fade and demons?" The mention of demons sends the poor man into a mumbling fright.

Alistair looks around the courtyard. "Lots of dead bodies here." Most of them are no more than skeletons, covered with scraps of armour or cloth.

"I'll bet you a drink they get up and attack us the moment we are close enough." I hold out my hand to him.

With a wide grin he shakes it. "You're on!"

And of course I'm right. We approach, and the corpses rise with weapons in hand. Funny, I didn't notice they had them. Levi shrieks like a girl and hides just outside the gate while we ready ourselves for battle. I wish I were the one buying Alistair a drink, not the other way around.


	8. Good Work

_This DLC was far too uninteresting to go into too much detail about -_- I did it for the storage! _

* * *

After the grand tour of this lovely haunted fortress, we're finally in the courtyard again. Demons, visions of events past, undead, a possessed Warden-Commander and a fossil-like Grey Warden mage. Sophia Dryden was possessed by some demon, and of course it wanted to be free to roam the world. And feed. I played along with her, pretending to go and destroy the tower as she requested. Only then would she help to close the tear in the Veil, through which demons occasionally came.

In the tower we found this really, really old guy. Avernus. He was the resident scientist and blood mage, experimented on his fellow Grey Wardens to find a way to use the full potential of our tainted blood. I found his ghastly notes and some vile-smelling concoction. Naturally I drank it. Just kidding; I'm not quite that stupid. Who knows what might happen? Personally, I like to believe I'm potent enough as I am. Avernus told Levi about his great-great-grandmother; that she was fiery, charismatic and brave. That she was the best of all the Wardens. Sadly there was no proof of this, so I'm afraid the Drydens will not have their honour returned to them.

The merchant said his family had always said they were like lions. After which I envisioned him as one with a mane around his face and cat-like whiskers growing out of his cheeks, growling fiercely. His girl-like screaming during every fight did not quite conjure the image of ferocity, pride and nobility a lion would, but okay. In any case, the old man came with us to help kill the travesty Sophia Dryden had become and close the rift. I have to say, the old Warden-Commander had on the most beautiful set of armour I'd ever seen. So I took it with me. Once it's cleaned, it will look dead sexy on Alistair. Never mind that he is much taller and broader than she was; I'm sure it will fit anyway. Armour always fits; it's awesome like that.

"But what about Avernus?" you say. "Certainly you killed him for experimenting on his fellow Wardens and using blood magic." Yeah, about that. If I employed such logic, I'd have snapped Jowan's little neck ages ago. Or at least immediately brought him to the tower. So I made the old man use his remaining time alive to research ways to help the Wardens in a more ethical way. Nobody objected, case closed. The fossil is holed up in the tower as we speak. Hmm? What is this respect for the elderly you speak of?

"You've done it, Warden!" Levi appears to be pleased as punch. Sort of. "Soldier's Peak is safe again. That old geezer Avernus deserves the gallows if you ask me, but..." He shoots an uneasy look at the tower. "Well, if he does proper research, without the sacrifices and the blood magic and all, maybe he'll turn up something good. But there was no proof to redeem my family."

I pat him on the shoulder. "I'm sorry about that. But you could stop focusing on the past. Perhaps the future will offer this redemption you seek."

"For so long I've wanted answers," the merchant sighs sadly. "But I think I would've been better off had I stayed at home. Anyway, you've got a whole fortress now. I suppose I should start plying my trade again."

"Where? Trade's not exactly opportune with the Blight, and the whole mess with Teyrn Loghain."

Levi shrugs. "I might use the Peak as a base of operations. No bandit would dare to come here." He looks appraisingly around the courtyard. "Nice place to store trade goods. You, of course, will get a sizeable discount!" The merchant beams, apparently happy to start selling and buying things again.

"Well." Alistair lays an arm around my shoulders. "Looks like we're done here. A demonic invasion thwarted, a Warden base safely rescued. We do good work."

* * *

"What have you done, golem?" Sten rumbles as we approach the two. I can see something red in his hands.

Shale shrugs noncommittally. "I had the uncontrollable urge to squish something."

Squish? Uh oh. I run up to the giant and find poor Nugget in his hands. He is covered in blood. I begin yelling at Shale. "Why did you do this? _What did Nugget ever do to you_?"

For a moment the golem is silent. Then she snorts loudly and begins laughing, collapsing onto the ground. "Oh, it should have seen its face!" she hiccups. "Priceless."

Nugget squeaks. Oh thank the Maker, he's still alive. Shale is still rolling around, laughing like a maniac. "Your pet is fine, Warden." Sten nods solemnly and hands him over. From the way the corners of his mouth are subtly turned upwards, I have to conclude that he finds it very amusing. "It was the golem who came up with this idea."

"Did... Did you two just play a prank on me?" I stare at them in shock. "And what is this red gloop?"

"It is the pigment the swamp witch smears on her face," the qunari explains. "Diluted with water."

Shale gets back on her feet. "Ah, this is a much better use for it." I'm sure that she would be crying tears of laughter if she could.

"You two scared the living daylights out of me." I scratch Nugget between the ears. "You were in cahoots with them, weren't you?" Of course the nug makes no response; he doesn't do much besides eat, sleep, poop, twitch and squeak.

"Why is Nugget all red?" Jowan curiously looks over my shoulder. "Come here you." He gently takes the creature from my hands and hugs him. Apparently he doesn't mind getting all red himself. "You need a bath, my naked little friend."

"Ah yes, a bath!" Leliana exclaims. "I would love to soak in a hot, sudsy bath for an hour or two." She sighs dreamily.

I sigh right along with her. "I fully agree with you."

"Perhaps we could bathe together." The bard smiles sweetly. "We could wash each other's hair!"

Alistair and Jowan simultaneously utter: "_Oooh_!" Understandably the idea of two naked, glistening, soapy women washing each other's hair is very appealing. And while we're in there, something interesting might happen. Something like us kissing. Hmmm... Yeah... I enjoyed making out with Danny, so why not with her? Leliana is way cuter than she is anyway. And then there's the vague suspicion I also fancy women.

"Don't you boys get the wrong idea now," the bard chuckles.

Two sad faces. Make that three. "Aww..."


	9. Lost and Found

_Oh noes! Drama! Tragedy! _

* * *

With loud clanging noises Alistair steps out from the trees surrounding our camp and twirls around. "And? What do you think?"

It took me a while, but I finally managed to polish the Warden-Commander's armour until it shone like a mirror. I would've let Zevran do it, but alas, he isn't here and I was itching to see my colleague in this armour. Just as I had thought, the plate fits him like a glove. A very sexy glove. "Mmm, Alistair." I get up from my place by the fire and approach him. "You look so... Rawr." Biting my lip, I send him a seductive look.

"I... I..." His handsome face flushes, redder than I've ever seen it. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Down, girl!" Jowan laughs. "Step away from there before you break him." He chuckles in unveiled amusement. This is what I mean about him not displaying any jealousy. Well, it's not like I was going to jump him or anything. Just playing.

"Wow." Alistair raises an eyebrow. "Nugget looks _faaabulous_, Jowan."

Unfazed, the mage continues petting the nug. "Never mind him, Nugget." Instead of his usual pig-like hue, the animal is now adorned with rather bright pink splotches. He now looks like a weird kind of small cow, which made Shale laugh even louder. "Sticks and stones."

"Well." I'm in no mood for this banter. "The tower is coming dangerously close."

Jowan scoots a little closer and grabs my hand. "I'm sorry I have to leave you so soon," he murmurs.

"Right of Conscription," Alistair sings unsubtly.

"I don't want it," Jowan sings in return.

"We could make you," the Warden sings again.

"You and what army?" the mage sings his comeback.

I roll my eyes. "Enough with the singing, guys." That might have sounded more convincing if I weren't singing it myself. "Anyway, why do you insist on throwing your life away?"

"Ever since I lost Lily, I have nothing to live for." He sighs despondently.

"Nothing... to live for?" His words are like a sharp slap across the face. My feet begin running all on their own, surprised and alarmed shouts sounding behind me. How can he say something so cruel? Do I mean so little? Apparently so.

A stabbing sensation in my side slows me down, until eventually my feet stop moving altogether. I sink down, my back against a tree. This area looks unfamiliar. Am I lost? Yes, I am. In more ways than one.

Suddenly all of it comes out. All the tears I should've been crying after Cullen left me. He abandoned me; even when we were apart, the thought of him brought me comfort. I never stopped loving him, and I probably never will. And Jowan, that stupid son of a bitch and his bloody Lily. I know I'm not some sweet, innocent, Chant-reciting flower, but surely I have some good qualities as well. He said I made him happy, and now this. It's like I've been ground into dust and spat upon. I'm such a big fat stupid idiot; I should've known my so-called friend and I were not meant to be lovers. If that were the case, it would have happened years ago. All this damned crying makes my throat sore; no wonder I'd decided to stop doing it.

Slowly the sobbing abates and I wipe away my tears. I hate crying, but apparently it's unavoidable. A better vow would be to never cry in the presence of others. Yes, I'll do that. I look up at the moon; it's almost full. Or was it just full? I always have trouble telling that. In any case, it's beautiful. Wasn't the moon like this too the night Cullen and I slept together for the first time? How brilliant he looked in that silver light. In the distance I hear rustling, and a calling of my name. Oh great, it's _him_. Just who I wanted to see.

"Tori?" Finally Jowan has found me. He crouches down. "I'm so-..."

"Shut the fuck up and get me back to camp." My voice is hoarse due to all the crying. Hoarse and dull. I abruptly slap his hand away when he reaches out for me. "Don't you dare touch me."

Again he reaches out to touch me, again I slap his hand away. "Please, I..."

"Are you deaf or stupid? I said shut up and don't touch me."

"No, listen to me." His hands grab a firm hold of my shoulders. Can't get away. Either he's stronger than I thought, or I am surprisingly weak. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that."

I scoff. "Sure you didn't, you bastard."

"I didn't. It was a poor choice of words, I mean..." He sighs. "If anything makes life worth living, it's you. Every time I wake up next to you, I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming, that's how amazing you are; and every day I feel like kicking myself, because I'd never noticed you before." Tentatively he lays his hand on my cheek; I let him. "But there is always the guilt, that Lily got punished because of me and that you had to be drafted into the Wardens. I just... I can't live with myself like that."

"Oh? You're doing a good job of hiding that, if it's true."

He chuckles ruefully. "Well yes, I can't keep on moping. I promised I would help you, so I am."

"If you need to get anything off your chest, you know I'm here for you, right?" I lay my hand over his and press a light kiss upon it. "I'm still your friend."

"I know, I know." My friend offers me a sad smile. "But you have enough problems of your own; surely you don't need the burden of mine."

I wrap my arms around him, pull him into my embrace. "Problems? Me? What, you mean this pesky Blight?"

"Well that, and the baby. The absence of its father. All those things." Jowan tightly wraps his arms around me in turn. "In light of that you shouldn't have to listen to the complaints of some idiot who messed up his entire life."

"I'm not so sure about that; lately you've been doing a lot of good." I rub my cheek against his. Prickly. "But you don't exactly have a way with words, my friend. Why oh why did you think that wouldn't offend me?"

He releases me to look into my eyes. "Obviously I wasn't thinking. Are you still angry with me?"

I quietly mull that over. Well, guilt I can understand. And of course hearing him say how he thinks I'm amazing helps a little too. "No."

"Good." My lover smiles in relief. "Alistair threatened to give me a black eye if I didn't make it up to you."

"You're not going to get a black eye. But you're not going to get laid tonight either."

Jowan courteously helps me up. "I understand." Ever so softly he kisses my lips. "I'm just happy you've forgiven me. I love you so much."

"I love you too." My hand automatically grips his. "Let's get going."

* * *

_Psych, there was no actual tragedy here. _


	10. Great Stamina

_In answer to an anonymous review posted for the last chapter: no, you certainly aren't the only one wishing for Astoreth and Alistair to get together. And our heroine is very pregnant at the moment. The exact amount of months, I won't give away. It should be a surprise when the baby is born. _

* * *

Alistair is still sitting by the fire as we enter the camp. He immediately walks up to us, shooting Jowan a dark look. "Are you all right?" he asks me, concern in his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine now. It was all a misunderstanding." I brightly smile at my lover, so he knows we're all good now.

"Great. Off with you then, kiss and make up, or something." The Warden shoos us away.

Inside the tent I throw off my robes and immediately crawl into the bedroll. I'm a little tired. Soon Jowan snuggles up to me, just as naked. "You are so wonderful," he whispers in adoration. "Beautiful, powerful and kind. I'm sorry I never noticed you; it's just that to me you were always the little girl with the chocolate smudges on her face."

"Mmm, chocolate!" Those were good times. I always got a chocolate muffin from the kitchen staff, which I would invariably share with my best friend. He had better table manners, though.

My beloved laughs heartily. "Still addicted to it, are you? I don't really get why you girls always go crazy for anything chocolate. It was Lily's only weakness. That and me, of course."

"Could you stop mentioning Lily? I know she was your first love, but..."

"First?" he cuts me off. "Lily wasn't my first love."

My interest is piqued. "Then who was? Someone I know?"

"Yeah." For some reason, he sounds sad. One would think the memory of one's first love would be a good one. "It was Daniela."

"That _bitch_! She knew I liked you!" Oh, wait. "Never mind, she didn't. The only one who knew that was my diary. So what went wrong?"

He shrugs. "I was madly in love with her, and I thought she felt the same. Then I found out she was sleeping with half of the tower's population. That _whore_." Still a tad bitter.

"Wow, really? No wonder she would never tell me who she did it with." I snicker under my breath. "If she would, she'd never stop talking!" Ahem, I better get more serious. "I'm sorry she did that to you. If I had known, I'd never have become friends with her."

"Oh, don't worry about that on my account." My dearest ruffles my hair. "She's all right as a friend. Besides, who were you going to talk about boys with? Me?" His face breaks into a happy grin. "And what was that about liking me?"

Ah, a little trip down memory lane. "Well, I just thought you were really cute. I mean, you are. Never mind, it's such a long time ago." So strange talking about that; somehow it makes me blush.

"Oh, how cute, you're all embarrassed," he gushes, covering my face with little kisses. "Who's my little princess? Yes, you are!"

"No, please stop that!" Talk about embarrassing. "So were you really sad after you found out Danny was such a slut?"

The kisses stop. "My heart was broken," he declares dramatically. "I almost wanted to give in to your constant pleas to sleep with you, but then I met Lily and all was well again. For a while, anyway."

I scowl. "Yes, about that: please stop talking about Lily. I know you love her, but it makes me feel... second best, I suppose." Chantry girl snatched him away from me, she did. And he was almost going to bed me too. She has good timing, I'll give her that.

"Fine, I'll never mention her again. If you stop flirting with Alistair," he retorts. "Do you like him better than me?"

I look into his face to find worry. "No, of course not. What makes you think I do?"

"Aside from the flirting? Well, obviously you have this thing for muscular templars, so this thin little mage feels threatened sometimes." Jowan sighs in dejection. "I'd hate to lose you to another man."

"Know this: I may flirt with Alistair from time to time, but I love _you_." I look into my sweetheart's wonderful eyes. "Everyone is beautiful in their own way, you know? And with your dark hair and pale eyes," I run my fingers through the silken strands and press a kiss above each eye, "and your lean, toned body you're absolutely gorgeous." I lay my hand upon his stomach to feel the taut flatness of it.

He blushes; such a sweet sight. "Really? Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do, you sexy, sexy thing you!" I wink. "I'm sorry about Alistair; you should've said so from the very beginning. I won't flirt with him anymore. Because I belong to you." And I mean it. Time for me to stop laying my hands on my colleague every chance I get. "If you don't realize this by now, I suppose I should tell you." I bend down to place a heated kiss down the side of his neck. "I also have a thing for skinny mages," I softly whisper into his ear. And I aim to prove my love for him too. "I'd been watching you, you know. About six years ago it started. At night I would fantasize about you, feeling your warm body on mine, your hard cock deep within me..." My hands have already begun caressing his delightfully soft skin. I can't resist. Weakling! "My love, I've wanted you _so_ badly..." It cannot be helped: my hands easily find the right bits to play with, to make him mewl like a puppy.

"I-I thought we weren't going to do anything tonight?" my lover queries. He sounds both amused and aroused.

I move my lips down to his chest, kissing and nipping. "Yeah, well, who was I kidding?" I smile up at him as I stroke my most favourite toy, eliciting a sharp gasp from its owner. "Now that you're mine, I'm going to wear you out." My darling had better brace himself, because I'm going to keep him up all night. Hooray for Grey Warden stamina!

* * *

_Thank you for reading _AdF_, part ten. Next instalment will be up soon. _


End file.
